Back to school time is in the air. Thus far I have resisted the urge to load up my Target cart with spiral notebooks and pre-sharpened pencils to keep on hand “just in case”. Cracking open a fresh notebook at the beginning of the school year always gave me a charge, so full of possibilities. Each year was a new chance to learn and become a new version of myself. I may have successfully avoided adding to my just in case stash, but I haven’t been able to avoid the stirring thoughts of a figurative blank page and the next steps for …..The Future.
This time last year I was finalizing the details for selling my dental practice and transitioning my patients and I into what was coming next. Looking back on this time I can see how much life has changed. When I feel like I am not making progress on my quest to recover from burnout, it helps to put myself back to where I was to appreciate that change has happened. My scrapbooks, my journals, and talking with my friends and family help me to revisit those feelings without spiraling or getting myself off track. Again, this time of year plus looking back at my progress makes me wonder about what is next. I wonder where I will be a year from now. The biggest lesson I have learned while recovering is that I get to choose. I get to decide where to direct my energy and intentions and pivot to a life that I want.
I stayed in full time private practice for so long because I felt stuck. I couldn’t see any other options or a way out of a life that was no longer for me. When I decided to sell my practice I was ready to leave dentistry behind just because I thought that was what I had to do to sell and move on. I thought my choices were stay in and slowly die or get out and leave behind all of my education and experience. I have been working part time for another dentist since the beginning of this year. I didn’t even think this was an option when I was making my decision to pivot. This opportunity has been a great way for me to transition and stay close to what I am educated in while removing myself from most of the stressors that led to my burnout. I may or may not keep going in clinical dentistry, but now I know that I can. I do know that I don’t want to pursue it full time like I was before, but it is nice to know that I have it as an option.
Another option would be for me to take my skills and experience and try to create my own lane in dentistry. My therapist proposed consulting or developing a way for me to share my 20 plus years of knowledge running a dental practice. That is something that intrigues me because I do think I have a unique perspective and valuable experience to share. I would have really benefitted from having someone like me to guide me through my career. A lot of the consultants that I see currently in the industry either don’t have dental experience or management experience. They also tend to focus on how much money they can help dentists make whereas I would like to help dentists find ways to do their jobs and stay balanced, healthy people.
I could always go back to my previous thinking as well and leave dentistry completely. I have a lot of different interests and skills and I think that I could pivot into an entirely different field. This is where I tend to get stuck. I know that I could move into something different, but I don’t know what that is or what it looks like. My therapist explained to me that I was stuck in place before because I thought i didn’t have options, but now I am getting jammed by the prospect of too many options. She told me to spend some time brainstorming. I am supposed to write down all the possibilities for work or career that I can think of, even if I know that I won’t pursue them. This is a time to be judgment free and stay out of my own way. After I come up with that list, I will go back and circle any ideas that intrigue me or trigger a positive response in my body. After doing that I can sit with the circled ideas and try to envision what they would be like and what they would require of me to pursue. Can I see myself in a desk job? Do I want to travel? Do I want co-workers? All of these questions can come into play after I come up with my idea list.
Most importantly, I do not need to worry about coming up with the “right” thing. I can release that expectation from myself and any work or career that I decide to pursue. Over the past year, my recovery process has taught me that I am safe and capable. I have built a safety net for myself so I do not have an urgency to try to make my next steps “perfect”. I can try, because like I said, a year ago, I didn’t even know that my life right now was an option, so how could I possibly know what my options will be a year from now. I am not trying to be completely woo-woo and just leave it up to the stars and the universe, but I know that a tight grip on the wheel of my life fueled by the expectation to be something and have that something be the perfect thing is also not the way to steer my future.
So maybe my next steps will be a 180 degree pivot and maybe they will just be a slight diversion onto a parallel path. I do not know right now, today, but I do know that I am getting back the desire to dream and hope and even take a step forward.
Have you ever completely changed careers or job fields? If so, how did you decide what to pursue or how do you go about breaking into a new field? If not, would you like to, but something is holding you back? If you could try something new, what would you like to try?
Love the pic of my little girl. That dress was adorable on you. So happy for you, that you are bold enough to change your life the way you want it. You have a lot of courage and I admire that so very much.